oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I will be naked everywhere
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
