they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
operation harelip BJ is a go
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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