I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
