Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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