The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
