Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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