this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How does one acquire holy water?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
