if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
