I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
