Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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