Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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