Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
