just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
