the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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