I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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