you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
