My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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