My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
