apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
