3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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