happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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