drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
