oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
