Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He did a backflip because drugs
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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