Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
