hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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