1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I love you. Go after that dick
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
