You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
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