no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
