Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
