i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
