there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
