FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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