How'd it feel making her break her religion?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
