i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I love you. Go after that dick
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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