o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
