you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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