Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
