Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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