what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
