"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
