wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
