my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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