Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
two words...techno handjob
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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