I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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