2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
