I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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