I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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