Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
