let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
