i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
