is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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