UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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