I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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